雅思考試作文技巧及應試步驟
2024-08-31 04:51:10 1
各位同學:
何鋼將於2月24日至3月3日離京,在此期間可能無法及時回復各位的帖子。為幫助大家提高作文水平,了解雅思寫作要求,在此公布本人用心批改的一篇學生作文,供大家參考。版權所有,請勿隨意轉貼。如欲轉貼,請註明(北京新東方何鋼)。
題目:
Nowmanypeoplethinkthatwearespendingtoomuchtimeandmoneyonprotectinganimals.Themoneyshouldbebetterspentonhumanpopulation.Doyouagreeordisagree?
學生作文:
Inreality,alargenumberofmoneyhavebeenfundedonthedevelopmentofhumanpopulationinordertoenhancethelivingstandand.Althoughgovernmentandanimallovershavestartedtoassistinconservationofanimals,lackingofmoneyandsocialawarenessisstillakeyproblemofanimalconservationprogam.nowpeopleshouldcareandpaymoreforanimalsratherthanlivinginluxury.
Governmenthaveputcertainfundonwildanimals,whileafewpartofthemwasspentonprotectinganimalslegally.Instead,largeaccountofmoneyhasbeencosttomurderthem.eg.inscientificresearch,animalsaremorelikevictimswhosebodymightsufferalotevendamagedthroughexperimentinaimningofcomingoutaresultfromexperiment,ratherthanluckyoneswhocanbenefitlotscareandlovefromhunmanbeing.Fromlongtermview,governmentshouldnotonlyspendmoneyforcurrentprofitsbutaslopaymoreforourgenerations.
Admittedly,althoughmoneyhasbeengatheredtosetcovervationprogramforanimals,itissolimitedthatanimalscouldnotgetabettercareinzoos.Lackingofmoneyisthemainlyproblemtomaintaintherunningofzoos,whichcausetheanimalshavetotransformtoanotherarea,andsomeofthemcoulddieforthefrequentlytravinganduncomfortableweather.Animalsarefacingawfulfateunlessgovernmentcouldsettlethefinancialissuebyallmeans.
Tosumup,animalsloversshoulddomoreefforttosavetheendangedanimalsespeciallyrarespecies,bywakeningupthesocialawarenessanddonatingmoney.wherepeoplecouldsavemoneyforanimals,whenwewillgetbenefitfromwildlife.
何鋼的評點:
文章共275字,基本符合要求。
1)Arguments,ideas,andevidence.
審題:現在許多人認為我們在保護動物方面花了太多的時間和金錢。這些時間和金錢與其用來保護動物,不如用來花在人身上。你同意不同意這個觀點?
此題結構與《高分作文》第8頁範文類似。在寫作這篇文章的時候,首先應該分析我們目前在動物保護方面的現狀:是否花費過多,並提出自己的觀點。如果認為的確花費過多,要說說為什麼。並且應該進行比較分析,為什麼更應該花錢在人身上。如果認為花得值,那麼要說說原因,然後談談保護動物對於人類的作用和意義。
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