歐巴馬離職演講稿
2023-12-11 12:56:42 1
政界版的郭德綱、被總統職位耽誤了的段子手，今天，讓我們一起了解這個不一樣的美國總統，小編收集了歐巴馬離職演講稿，歡迎閱讀。
歐巴馬離職演講稿CARAOL:Mr.President.Thepodiumisyours.
THEPRESIDENT:Youcan’tsayit,butyouknowit'str-ue.
開場音樂是AnnaKendrick的「WhenI'mGone」，這句話是在玩這個梗，因為歐巴馬即將卸任(begone)。
Goodevening,everybody.Itisanhonortobehereatmylast—andperhapsthelast—WhiteHouseCorrespondents』Dinner.Youalllookgreat.TheendoftheRepublichasneverlookedbetter.Idoapologize—IknowIwasalittlelatetonight.IwasrunningonC.P.T.—whichstandsfor―jokesthatwhitepeopleshouldnotmake.‖It’satipforyou,Jeff.
1,C.P.T是指ColoredPeople'sTime，吐槽黑人被說遲到。
2，反擊紐約市長BilldeBlasio此前關於C.P.T的玩笑。BilldeBlasio之前在另一個場合遲到，於是開了一個玩笑IamrunningonCPTime.結果全場陷入尷尬。
Anyway,hereweare.Myeighthandfinalappearanceatthisuniqueevent.AndIamexcited.Ifthismaterialworkswell,I’mgoingtouseitatGoldmanSachsnextyear.EarnmesomeseriousTubmans.That’sright.
1，這裡吐槽希拉蕊在高盛(GoldmanSachs)演講賺了幾十萬美元的事情。
2，Tubmans這裡指錢，因為Tubmans是20美元紙幣上的頭像。
Mybrilliantandbeautifulwife,Michelle,isheretonight.Shelookssohappytobehere.That’scalledpractice—it’slikelearningtodothree-minuteplanks.Shemakesitlookeasynow.Nextyearatthistime,someoneelsewillbestandinghereinthisveryspot,andit’sanyone’sguesswhoshewillbe.Butstandinghere,Ican’thelpbutbereflective,alittlesentimental.Eightyearsago,Isaiditwastimetochangethetoneofourpolitics.Inhindsight,Iclearlyshouldhavebeenmorespecific.
1，歐巴馬用She就是暗指希拉蕊一定是下屆總統。
2，8年前，他想努力改善一下政治環境(thetoneofourpolitics)，後來的morespecific吐槽這個環境其實越來越差了。
Eightyearsago,Iwasayoungman,fullofidealismandvigor,andlookatmenow.Iamgrayandgrizzled,justcountingdownthedays’tilmydeathpanel.HillaryoncequestionedwhetherI』dbereadyfora3a.m.phonecall—nowI’mawakeanywaybecauseI』vegottogotothebathroom.I’mup.
全程都在自黑
Infact,somebodyrecentlysaidtome,Mr.President,youaresoyesterday;JustinTrudeauhascompletelyreplacedyou—he’ssohandsome,he’ssocharming,he’sthefuture.AndIsaid,Justin,justgiveitarest.Iresentedthat.Meanwhile,Michellehasnotagedaday.Theonlywayyoucandateherinphotosisbylookingatme.Takealook.
繼續自黑自己顯老，而Michelle一點沒變。
Herewearein2008.
Hereweareafewyearslater.Andthisoneisfromtwoweeksago.
Sotimepasses.Injustsixshortmonths,Iwillbeofficiallyalameduck,whichmeansCongressnowwillflat-outrejectmyauthority.AndRepublicanleaderswon’ttakemyphonecalls.Andthisisgoingtotakesomegettingusedto,it’sreallygoingto—it’sacurveball.Idon’tknowwhattodowithit.
吐槽自己將要下臺(lameduck)，大家也越來越不把他當回事了。下面說英國小王子George和他見面時穿著浴袍，就感覺自己被呼了一巴掌。
Ofcourse,infact,formonthsnowcongressionalRepublicanshavebeensayingtherearethingsIcannotdoinmyfinalyear.Unfortunately,thisdinnerwasnotoneofthem.Butoneverythingelse,it’sanotherstory.Andyouknowwhoyouare,Republicans.Infact,Ithinkwe』vegotRepublicanSenatorsTimScottandCoryGardner,they’reinthehouse,whichremindsme,security,barthedoors!JudgeMerrickGarland,comeonout,we’regoingtodothisrighthere,rightnow.It’slike―TheRedWedding.‖
1.unfortunately在開玩笑其實自己並不想來這場晚宴。
2，吐槽之前提名大法官，共和黨遲遲不做反應，所以想barsthedoor，然後就地解決。
2，TheRedwedding是《權利的遊戲》裡面的梗，看過的都知道場面有多震撼吧：)。
Butit’snotjustCongress.Evensomeforeignleaders,they』vebeenlookingahead,anticipatingmydeparture.Lastweek,PrinceGeorgeshoweduptoourmeetinginhisbathrobe.Thatwasaslapintheface.Aclearbreachinprotocol.AlthoughwhileinEnglandIdidhavelunchwithHerMajesty,theQueen,tookinaperformanceofShakespeare,hitthelinkswithDavidCameron—justincaseanybodyisstilldebatingwhetherI’mblackenough,Ithinkthatsettlesthedebate.
在吐槽自己是不是beingblackenough，因為他說的那些活動都是很白人的。
Iwon’tlie—look,thisisatoughtransition.It’shard.KeystaffarenowstartingtoleavetheWhiteHouse.Evenreportershaveleftme.SavannahGuthrie,she’slefttheWhiteHousePressCorpstohosttheTodayshow.NorahO』DonnellleftthebriefingroomtohostCBSThisMorning.JakeTapperleftjournalismtojoinCNN.
講Journalism和CNN做對立，吐槽CNN做的不算是新聞。(畫面裡的JakeTapper本人表情好尷尬)
ButtheprospectofleavingtheWhiteHouseisamixedbag.YoumighthaveheardthatsomeonejumpedtheWhiteHousefencelastweek,butIhavetogiveSecretServicecredit—theyfoundMichelle,broughtherback,she’ssafebackathomenow.It’sonlyninemoremonths,baby.Settledown.
黑Michelle以及迫不及待要離開白宮了。
Andyet,somehow,despiteallthis,despitethechurn,inmyfinalyear,myapprovalratingskeepgoingup.ThelasttimeIwasthishigh,Iwastryingtodecideonmymajor.
歐巴馬承認自己大學時候抽過大麻，這裡玩的是這個梗，high在這裡是雙關，major是大學的專業。
Andhere’sthething:Ihaven’treallydoneanythingdifferently.Soit’sodd.Evenmyaidescan’texplaintherisingpollnumbers—whathaschanged,nobodycanfigureitout.Puzzling.
這段開始吐槽共和黨，他明明自己沒做什麼，為什麼共和黨的支持率上漲。這時候出現了共和黨候選人Trump和TedCruz的照片，原因顯而易見。
Anyway,inthislastyearIdohavemoreappreciationforthosewhohavebeenwithmeonthisamazingride,likeoneofourfinestpublicservants,JoeBiden.Godblesshim.Lovethatguy.IloveJoeBiden,Ireallydo.AndIwanttothankhimforhisfriendship,forhiscounsel,
foralwaysgivingittomestraight,fornotshootinganybodyintheface.Thankyou,Joe.
小布希的副總統切尼曾開槍誤傷別人
Also,Iwouldberemiss—let’sgiveitupforourhost,LarryWilmore.AlsoknownasoneofthetwoblackguyswhoisnotJonStewart.You’retheSouthAfricanguy,right?IloveLarry.Andhisparentsarehere,whoarefromEvanston,whichisagreattown.
1，兩個blackguys的另一個是Trevor，同時也黑了一把囧叔。
2，Trevor才是SouthAfrican，這裡歐巴馬假裝弄錯。
Ialsowouldliketoacknowledgesomeoftheaward-winningreportersthatwehavewithusheretonight.RachelMcAdams.MarkRuffalo.LievSchreiber.Thankyouallforeverythingthatyou』vedone.I’mjustjoking.Asyouknow,―Spotlight‖isafilm,amovieaboutinvestigativejournalistswiththeresourcesandtheautonomytochasedownthetruthandholdthepowerfulaccountable.BestfantasyfilmsinceStarWars.Look—thatwasmaybeacheapshot.
這裡其實在向三位獲獎的記者致敬，順便黑了一下現實
Iunderstandthenewsbusinessistoughthesedays,itkeepschangingallthetime.Everyyearatthisdinner,somebodymakesajokeaboutBuzzFeed,forexample,changingthemedialandscape.
Andeveryyear,theWashingtonPostlaughsalittlebitlesshard.Kindofasilencethere.EspeciallyattheWashingtonPosttable.
吐槽傳統媒體收到新媒體的衝擊，因此華盛頓郵報對這個梗笑的越來越沒底氣。
GOPChairmanReincePriebusishereaswell.Gladtoseeyouthatyoufeelthatyou』veearnedanightoff.Congratulationsonallyoursuccess.TheRepublicanParty,thenominationprocess-–it’sallgoinggreat.Keepitup.
反諷，表面上是表揚共和黨的工作很好，其實是反諷他們沒有積極阻止川普的競選。
KendallJennerisalsohere.Andwehadachancetomeetherbackstage—sheseemslikeaveryniceyoungwoman.I’mnotexactlysurewhatshedoes,butIamtoldthatmyTwittermentionsareabouttogothroughtheroof.
KendallJenner的職業是超模，所以歐巴馬的twittermention才會暴增。
HelenMirrenisheretonight.Idon’tevenhaveajokehere.IjustthinkHelenMirrenisawesome.She’sawesome.
HelenMirren是好萊塢巨星，本人真的很酷(awesome)啊
Sittingatthesametable,IseeMikeBloomberg.Mike,acombative,controversialNewYorkbillionaireisleadingtheGOPprimaryanditisnotyou.That’shastostingalittlebit.Althoughit’snotanentirelyfaircomparisonbetweenyouandtheDonald.Afterall,Mikewasabig-citymayor.Heknowspolicyindepth.Andhe’sactuallyworththeamountofmoneythathesaysheis.
最後一句話褒獎Bloomberg的目的就是黑川普，因為川普最近大幅誇大自己的真實財富。
Whatanelectionseason.Forexample,we』vegotthebrightnewfaceoftheDemocraticPartyheretonight–-Mr.BernieSanders!Thereheis—Bernie!Bernie,youlooklikeamillionbucks.Ortoputitintermsyou』llunderstand,youlooklike37,000donationsof27dollarseach.
給Bernie捐款者的捐款平均是27美元。這個笑話其實引起了很多草根(grassroots)的反感，因為他們不可能捐很多錢助選。
AlotoffolkshavebeensurprisedbytheBerniephenomenon,especiallyhisappealtoyoungpeople.Butnotme,Igetit.Justrecently,ayoungpersoncameuptomeandsaidshewassickofpoliticiansstandinginthewayofherdreams.AsifwewereactuallygoingtoletMaliagotoBurningManthisyear.Thatwasnotgoingtohappen.Berniemighthavelethergo.Notus.
Bernie很受年輕人的喜歡，而且這裡透露了歐巴馬的女兒Malia將會推遲一年進入哈佛大學。BurningMan是指火把節，為美國一個著名的反傳統狂歡節，感興趣的朋友可以自己了解一下。
Iamhurt,though,Bernie,thatyou』vedistancingyourselfalittlefromme.Imean,that’sjustnotsomethingthatyoudotoyourcomrade.
Comrade是同志，這裡吐槽Bernie思想太左，是Communist。另外也是吐槽Bernie思想比較陳舊，和自己比都落伍啦(distanceyourselffromme)。
Bernie’ssloganhashelpedhiscampaigncatchfireamongyoungpeople.―FeeltheBern.‖FeeltheBern—it’sagoodslogan.Hillary’ssloganhasnothadthesameeffect.Let’sseethis.
1，FeeltheBern是FeeltheBurn的諧音，Bernie的競選口號是BurnNewBern。Bern是Bernie的簡稱，就像Steven常常被叫成Steve。
2，Trudge是艱難的行走，這裡的Hill是暗指希拉蕊(她名字的前幾個字母)，和Bernie對比突出她在吸引年輕人上面比較艱難。
Look,I』vesaidhowmuchIadmireHillary’stoughness,hersmarts,herpolicychops,herexperience.You』vegottoadmitit,though,HillarytryingtoappealtoyoungvotersisalittlebitlikeyourrelativejustsignedupforFacebook.―DearAmerica,didyougetmypoke?‖―Isitappearingonyourwall?‖―I’mnotsureIamusingthisright.Love,AuntHillary.‖It’snotentirelypersuasive.
前面說Bernie很善於討好年輕人(appealtoyoungpeople)，這裡就開始吐槽希拉蕊想討好年輕人，但似乎做的很蹩腳，就像「你家剛剛註冊了非死不可的親戚」一般不怎麼又說服力。
Meanwhile,ontheRepublicanside,thingsarealittlemore—howshouldwesaythis—alittle―moreloose.‖Justlookattheconfusionovertheinvitationstotonight’sdinner.Guestswereaskedtocheckwhethertheywantedsteakorfish,butinstead,awholebunchofyouwroteinPaulRyan.That’snotanoption,people.Steakorfish.Youmaynotlikesteakorfish—butthat’syourchoice.
這裡steak是指川普，因為川普曾經把旗下的牛排產品以Trump命名。fish是指和川普競爭共和黨總統候選人的TedCruz，因為Cruz被網友形容張了一張死魚臉。PaulRyan是眾議院院長，共和黨內常常傳出呼聲，如果川普和Cruz拿不到黨內提名需要的票數，就會推舉PaulRyan為總統候選人。
Meanwhile,somecandidatesaren’tpollinghighenoughtoqualifyfortheirownjoketonight.Theruleswerewell-establishedaheadoftime.
吐槽某些候選人的支持率低
Andthenthere’sTedCruz.Tedhadatoughweek.HewenttoIndiana–-Hoosiercountry–-stoodonabasketballcourt,andcalledthehoopa―basketballring.‖Whatelseisinhislexicon?Baseballsticks?Footballhats?Butsure,I’mtheforeignone.
Ted不接地氣，把籃球框(hoop)說成是basketballring。歐巴馬吐槽他是不是外國人，順便自黑一下，因為歐巴馬因為父親的原因曾經被說成是出生在肯亞。實際上，TedCruz才是真正出生在國外的，他出生在加拿大，因此很多人質疑他是不是真的有資格競選總統。
Well,letmeconcludetonightonamoreseriousnote.IwanttothanktheWashingtonpresscorps,IwanttothankCarolforallthatyoudo.Thefreepressiscentraltoourdemocracy,and—nah,I’mjustkidding!YouknowI』vegottotalkaboutTrump!Comeon!Weweren’tjustgoingtostopthere.Comeon.
感謝了一圈又來一句I’mjustkidding，似乎要準備吐槽川普了。
AlthoughIamalittlehurtthathe’snotheretonight.Wehadsomuchfunthelasttime.Anditissurprising.You』vegotaroomfullofreporters,celebrities,cameras,andhesaysno?IsthisdinnertootackyforTheDonald?Whatcouldhepossiblybedoinginstead?Isheathome,eatingaTrumpSteak—tweetingoutinsultstoAngelaMerkel?What’shedoing?
1，有這麼多記者，名人，川普都沒來，實在不符合他的行事風格，吐槽他愛出風頭。
3，吐槽川普喜歡以自己的名字命名他的產品，他用Trump命名了一款自己的牛排產品為TrumpSteak，而且開發的地產項目也往往用Trump命名。
TheRepublicanestablishmentisincredulousthatheistheirmostlikelynominee—incredulous,shocking.TheysayDonaldlackstheforeignpolicyexperiencetobePresident.But,infairness,hehasspentyearsmeetingwithleadersfromaroundtheworld:MissSweden,MissArgentina,MissAzerbaijan.
吐槽川普喜歡沾花惹草
Andthere’soneareawhereDonald’sexperiencecouldbeinvaluable-–andthat’sclosingGuantanamo.BecauseTrumpknowsathingortwoaboutrunningwaterfrontpropertiesintotheground.
吐槽川普海邊的商業產業都被他經營倒閉了
Allright,that’sprobablyenough.Imean,I』vegotmorematerial—no,no,Idon’twanttospendtoomuchtimeonTheDonald.Followingyourlead,Iwanttoshowsomerestraint.BecauseIthinkwecanallagreethatfromthestart,he’sgottentheappropriateamountofcoverage,befittingtheseriousnessofhiscandidacy.
Ihopeyouallareproudofyourselves.Theguywantedtogivehishotelbusinessaboost,andnowwe’reprayingthatClevelandmakesitthroughJuly.
吐槽川普之前威脅說如果在七月的共和黨黨代會(GOP)上，如果他沒有贏得總統候選人提名的話共和黨將會擁有一個「aroughJuly」。
AsformeandMichelle,we』vedecidedtostayinD.C.foracouplemoreyears.Thankyou.Thisway,ouryoungestdaughtercanfinishuphighschool,Michellecanstayclosertoherplotofcarrots.She’salreadymakingplanstoseethemeveryday.Takealook.
plot在這裡是「種地的田」，carrotsplot就是胡蘿蔔田，暗示Michelle在他退休後的生活就是種菜。
Butourdecisionhasactuallypresentedabitofadilemmabecause,traditionally,Presidentsdon’tstickaroundafterthey’redone.Andit’ssomethingthatI』vebeenbroodingaboutalittlebit.Takealook.
Hereyougo.IamstillwaitingforallofyoutorespondtomyinvitationtoconnectonLinkedIn.ButIknowyouhavejobstodo,whichiswhatreallybringsusheretonight.
Iknowthattherearetimesthatwe』vehaddifferences,andthat’sinherentinourinstitutionalroles—it’strueofeveryPresidentand
hispresscorps.Butwe』vealwayssharedthesamegoal–-torootourpublicdiscourseinthetruth;toopenthedoorsofthisdemocracy;todowhateverwecantomakeourcountryandourworldmorefreeandmorejust.AndI』vealwaysappreciatedtherolethatyouhaveallplayedasequalpartnersinreachingthesegoals.
你能看到這裡也是real厲害，下面基本沒有吐槽啦，基本就是感謝的話。
Andourfreepressiswhyweonceagainrecognizetherealjournalistswhouncoveredahorrifyingscandalandbroughtaboutsomemeasureofjusticeforthousandsofvictimsthroughouttheworld.Theyareherewithustonight–-SachaPfeiffer,MikeRezendes,WalterRobinson,MattCarroll,andBenBradlee,Jr.Pleasegivethemabigroundofapplause.
Ourfreepressiswhy,onceagain,wehonorJasonRezaian.AsCarolnoted,lasttimethisyear,wespokeofJason’scourageasheenduredtheisolationofanIranianprison.Thisyear,weseethatcourageinthefleshandit’salivingtestamenttotheveryideaofafreepress,andareminderoftherisinglevelofdanger,andpoliticalintimidation,andphysicalthreatsfacedbyreportersoverseas.AndIcanmakethiscommitmentthataslongasIholdthisoffice,myadministrationwillcontinuetofightforthereleaseofAmericanjournalistsheldagainsttheirwill—andwewillnotstopuntiltheyseethesamefreedomasJasonhad.
Athomeandabroad,journalistslikeallofyouengageinthedoggedpursuitofinformingcitizens,andholdingleadersaccountable,andmakingourgovernmentofthepeoplepossible.Andit’sanenormousresponsibility.AndIrealizeit’sanenormouschallengeatatimewhentheeconomicsofthebusinesssometimesincentivizespeedoverdepth;andwhencontroversyandconflictarewhatmostimmediatelyattractreadersandviewers.
Thegoodnewsistherearesomanyofyouthatarepushingagainstthosetrends.Andasacitizenofthisgreatdemocracy,Iamgratefulforthat.Forthisisalsoatimearoundtheworldwhensomeofthefundamentalidealsofliberaldemocraciesareunderattack,andwhennotionsofobjectivity,andofafreepress,andoffacts,andofevidencearetryingtobeundermined.Or,insomecases,ignoredentirely.
Andinsuchaclimate,it’snotenoughjusttogivepeopleamegaphone.Andthat’swhyyourpowerandyourresponsibilitytodigandtoquestionandtocounterdistortionsanduntruthsismore
importantthanever.Takingastandonbehalfofwhatistruedoesnotrequireyousheddingyourobjectivity.Infact,itistheessenceofgoodjournalism.Itaffirmstheideathattheonlywaywecanbuildconsensus,theonlywaythatwecanmoveforwardasacountry,theonlywaywecanhelptheworldmenditselfisbyagreeingonabaselineoffactswhenitcomestothechallengesthatconfrontusall.
Sothisnightisatestamenttoallofyouwhohavedevotedyourlivestothatidea,whopushtoshinealightonthetrutheverysingleday.SoIwanttoclosemyfinalWhiteHouseCorrespondents』Dinnerbyjustsayingthankyou.
I’mveryproudofwhatyou』vedone.Ithasbeenanhonorandaprivilegetoworksidebysidewithyoutostrengthenourdemocracy.Andwiththat,Ijusthavetwomorewordstosay-–Obamaout.Thankyou.
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