英語作文批改記錄怎麼寫（批改英語作文習字）

2023-09-19 20:56:43 1

批改一篇網上看到的英語作文。

修改前：

Three years ago, I accidentally realized that my handwriting looks sort of ugly; however, my best friend’s handwriting is real nice as an art. Then I have a passion for the beauty of handwriting, so I decided to practice calligraphy. But the result of half-year practice was unsatisfied than expected. I was very frustrated and want to give up. My friend found my sadness about that, she encouraged me and gave some advice like there was something wrong with my way to hold the pen. She corrected the holding position and encouraged me that I could do better while kept practicing. With her enthusiastic help, I stick at doing the calligraphy exercise and I have better handwriting than before. Actually, I find joy in it and the exercises become one of my habits and hobbies. Therefore the key to success consists in your persistence of the intention.

修改中：

批改英語作文 - 習字

「accidentally realized" —— 」accidentally「用詞不妥，想到自己的字不好，不是「意外」，最多是「突然」，「suddenly」。

「sort of ugly」 —— 「sort of」，「有些」，是口語，書面也可以使用，正式一點兒的文字裡改成「somehwat」。

「however」 —— 用在這裡有點兒勉強。你寫字不好看，她寫得好看，是兩種情況，之間並沒有直接的轉折關係。改成「on the other hand」或者「in contrast」。

「real nice」 —— 同上面的「sort of」一樣，是口語，可以改成正式一點兒的「really nice」，也可以不改。書面文字裡用口語，或是不知區別，或是刻意使用。整篇文章挺刻板，突然加入口語，不協調。

」as a art「 —— 」作為一種藝術「，但實際並不是一種藝術。」like art「，」像藝術「，」有藝術意味「。

「Then I have a passion」 —— 時態不對，應是過去式，」passion「語義也太強烈了一點兒。如果你對於書法有那種激情，自己的字何至於那麼醜。改成」I felt an urge to「。

」half year practice「 —— 」half a year『s practice」

「result ... unsatisfied」 —— 用詞不當。人，「unsatisfied」；事，「unsatisfactory」。

「want to give up」 —— 時態不對，應是過去式，另外語義上也不應是「want to give up」，其實你不「想」放棄，只是覺得不得不放棄。可以說「was going to give up」，「就要放棄了」。

「found my sadness about that」 —— 表述生硬。字寫得不好，也說不上「悲哀」，最多就是不開心。改成「Seeing that I wasn't happy」

「like there was」 —— like後面接句子，這樣寫似乎有點兒彆扭，改成「like how」。

「she corrected the holding position」 —— 」執筆的方法「寫成」holding position「是硬譯。改成」how I hold my pen「。

」while kept practicing「 —— 」while「是」同時「，這裡的意思應是」如果「。所以用」if「。

」better handwriting「 —— 把「handwriting」改成「penmanship」，換個說法。

「Actually」 —— 這裡用「actually」也可以，但「in fact」似乎更順口。

「Therefore, the key to success」 —— 「Therefore」語義較輕，只是說一般結果，不足以引出一篇文章的結論，所以，「This experience of mine shows that ...」

「consists in the persistence of intention" —— 表述生硬，另外文中所說不只是」intention「（」意念「），而是強調練習。可以直接說」the key to success is determination and persistence.「

修改後：

Three years ago, I suddenly realized that my handwriting looks somewhat ugly. My best friend’s handwriting, on the other hand, is really nice, looking like art. I felt an urge to improve my handwriting and decided to practice calligraphy. The result of half a year’s practice, however, was unsatisfactory. I was very frustrated and was going to give up. Seeing that I wasn’t happy with what was going on, my friend gave me some advice, like how I should hold my pen properly. She encouraged me, saying that I could do better if I kept practicing. With her enthusiastic help, I stuck to my calligraphic exercises and now I have better penmanship than ever before. In fact, I find joy in practicing calligraphy, which has become one of my habits and hobbies. This experience shows that the key to success is determination and persistence.

翻譯：

三年前，我突然意識到自己的字有些醜。我最好的朋友，她的字就很漂亮，像藝術。我感覺到把字寫好的衝動，決定練習書法。然而，用功半年，效果不盡如意。我就比較沮喪，要放棄了。我的朋友看到我不開心，就給了我一些建議，比如我應該如何握筆。她鼓勵我說，只要我堅持練習，一定會有進步。在她的積極幫助下，我不斷練習書法，現在我的字體比以前好了許多。實際上，我在書法練習中發現了快樂，它已成為我的一個習慣和愛好。我的這段經歷說明，成功的關鍵是決心和堅持。

隨筆：

一個人的筆跡，好壞無論，是handwriting。如果寫得好一點兒，那就算是有penmanship。如果寫得很講究，成了藝術，那就是calligraphy。嚴格說來，作為一種藝術，calligraphy這東西只存在於中國。西方也有書法，但算不得藝術，因為很少有人在這方面進行藝術創造，最多也就是把字寫得好看一些。中西之間的這個差別，主要在於彼此的語言。中國的方塊字成千上萬，各自不同，寫起來變化多端。西方文字以字母為基礎，英語裡有26個，再怎麼寫也很難出彩。比如我寫一個O，再寫一個h,