美國青少年暢銷小說（中英雙語小說連載）
2023-06-14 08:26:58
17
Crossing the Threshold 踏進門檻
1960
One day during the reading summer when she motored to Jumpin's, he said, 「Now, Miss Kya, there's sump'm else. Some men been pokin' 'round, askin' 'bout ya.」
閱讀之夏的某一天，基婭開船到老跳那兒，他說：「基婭小姐，有點事。有人在附近轉悠，打聽你。」
She looked right at him instead of off to the side. 「Who, what d'they want?」
她沒有閃避，而是直直地看向他，問：「誰？他們想怎麼樣？」
「I b'lieve they're from the Sochul Services. They askin' all kinds of questions. Is yo' pa still 'round, where ya ma is, if ya goin' to school this fall. An when ya come here; they 'specially wanta know what times ya come here.」
「我想他們是社會服務部門的，問了各種各樣的問題，比如你爸爸還在嗎，你媽媽去哪兒了，今年秋天你去不去學校。還有你什麼時候來這兒。他們尤其關心你來這兒的時間。」
「What'd you tell 'em, Jumpin'?」
「你怎麼跟他們說的，老跳？」
「Well, I done ma best to put 'em off ya. Told 'em ya pa just fine, out fishin's all.」 He laughed, threw his head back. 「Then I told 'em I neva know when ya boat in here. Now, don't ya worry none, Miss Kya. Jumpinll send 'em on a snipe hunt if they come again.」
「我盡力不讓他們來煩你，告訴他們你爸爸很好，經常出來釣魚，」他笑著，腦袋後仰，「然後我告訴他們我從來不知道你的船什麼時候來。你什麼都不用擔心，基婭小姐。他們再來，我老跳就給他們來一出獵鷸遊戲。」
「Thank ya.」 After filling her tank, Kya headed straight home. She'd have to be on guard more now, maybe find a place in the marsh where she could hide out some until they gave up on her.
「謝謝。」加滿油箱後，基婭直接往家開。她現在得更加警惕，或許在溼地裡找一個可以藏身的地方，直到他們放棄她。
Late that afternoon, as Tate pulled up to the shore, the hull crunching softly on sand, she said, 「Can we meet somewheres else, 'sides here?」
那天下午晚些時候，泰特把船停靠在岸邊，船身輕柔地壓在沙灘上，她說：「我們可以在別地方見面嗎？」
「Hey, Kya, good to see you.」 Tate greeted her, still sitting at the tiller.
「你好，基婭，見到你很高興。」泰特向她問好，依舊坐在舵柄旁。
「What d'ya think?」
「你覺得怎麼樣？」
「It's besides, not 'sides, and it's polite to greet people before asking a favor.」
「應該說別的，不是別，而且請別人幫忙之前先問好才是有禮貌的做法。」
「You say 'sides sometimes,」 she said, almost smiling.
「你有時候也說別。」她說，差點笑了出來。
「Yeah, we all got magnolia mouth, being from the North Carolina sticks, but we have to try.」
「是的，我們都有點口音，畢竟是北卡羅來納人，不過我們要試著改變。」
「Good afternoon, Mr. Tate,」 she said, making a little curtsy. He caught a glimpse of the spunk and sass somewhere inside. 「Now, can we meet somewhere besides here? Please.」
「下午好，泰特先生。」她說，行了一個小小的屈膝禮。他感受到了她的勇氣和不馴。「我們可以在別的地方見面嗎？」
「Sure, I guess, but why?」
「當然，但是為什麼呢？」
「Jumpin' said the Social Services are lookin' for me. I'm scared they'll pull me in like a trout, put me in a foster home or sump'm.」
「老跳說社會服務部門的人在找我。我擔心他們會像抓鱒魚一樣把我抓住，丟到一個寄養家庭或類似的地方。」
「Well, we better hide way out there where the crawdads sing. I pity any foster parents who take you on.」 Tate's whole face smiled.
「我們最好藏得遠遠的，到蝲蛄吟唱的地方。我同情任何一對收養你的養父母。」泰特整張臉都笑開了。
「What d'ya mean, where the crawdads sing? Ma used to say that.」 Kya remembered Ma always encouraging her to explore the marsh: 「Go as far as you can—way out yonder where the crawdads sing.」
「蝲蛄吟唱的地方是什麼意思？媽媽也這麼說過。」基婭記得媽媽總是鼓勵她探索溼地：「盡你所能往遠了走，遠到蝲蛄吟唱的地方。」
「Just means far in the bush where critters are wild, still behaving like critters. Now, you got any ideas where we can meet?」
「就是灌木叢深處，那裡的生物都還有野性，還表現得像生物。好了，我們在哪裡見面？你有什麼想法嗎？」
「There's a place I found one time, an old fallin'-down cabin. Once you know the turnoff, ya can get there by boat; I can walk there from here.」
「我曾經到過一個地方，一棟快倒塌的破舊小屋。只要知道岔道怎麼走，就能開船過去。可以從這裡走過去。」
「Okay then, get in. Show me this time; next time we'll meet there.」
「好的，上船吧，這次你給我指路。下次我們在那裡見。」
「If I'm out there I'll leave a little pile of rocks right here by the tyin'-up log.」 Kya pointed to a spot on the lagoon beach. 「Otherwise, I'm 'round here somewhere and will come out when I hear yo' motor.」
「如果我去那兒了，會在這個繫船的木樁上放一小堆石頭，」基婭指著潟湖沙灘上的一個地方，「不然，我就是在這附近的什麼地方，聽到你的船聲我就會出來。」
They puttered slowly through the marsh, then planed off south through open sea, away from town. She bounced along in the bow, wind-tears streaming across her cheeks and tickling cool in her ears. When they reached a small cove, she guided him up a narrow freshwater creek hung low with brambles. Several times the creek seemed to peter out, but Kya motioned that it was okay to go on, and they crashed through more brush.
他們慢慢駛過溼地，然後朝南加速經過外海，離開小鎮。她在船頭起伏，風吹出的眼淚順著臉頰流下，冷冷地灌進耳朵裡，有點發癢。到了一個小灣，她指引他開進一條狹窄的淡水小溪，兩邊荊棘低垂。有幾次小溪似乎要消失了，但基婭示意可以繼續開，船撞倒了更多灌木。
Finally they broke into a wide meadow where the stream ran by an old one-room log cabin, collapsed on one end. The logs had buckled, some lying around the ground like pick-up sticks. The roof, still sitting on the half wall, sloped down from high end to low like a lopsided hat. Tate pulled the boat up onto the mud and they silently walked to the open door.
最後，他們到達一處寬闊的草甸，溪邊有一棟老舊的小木屋，只有一個房間，一端已經倒塌了。木頭彎曲變形，有些散落在地上，像撿來的柴火。屋頂蹲在只剩一半的牆上，從高處傾斜下來，像戴歪了的帽子。泰特把船拖上泥地，然後和基婭一起安靜地走向小屋敞開的門。
Inside was dark and reeked of rat urine. 「Well, I hope you don't plan on living here—the whole thing could collapse on your head.」 Tate pushed at the wall. It seemed sturdy enough.
屋裡黑黑的，散發著老鼠尿的味道。「呃，我希望你沒打算住在這裡——房子可能會坍塌，壓你頭上。」泰特推了推牆。看起來倒是挺結實的。
「It's just a hideout. I can stash some food 'case I have to go on the run awhile.」
「就是一個藏身的地方。我可以儲存一些食物，萬一我得再逃亡一段時間。」
Tate turned and looked at her as their eyes adjusted to the dark.
泰特轉身看向她，眼睛漸漸適應了昏暗。
「Kya, you ever thought of just going back to school? It wouldn't kill you, and they might leave you alone if you did.」
「基婭，你有沒有想過回學校去？你不會死的。你回去了，可能他們就不會再打擾你了。」
「They must've figured out I'm alone, and if I go, they'll grab me, put me in a home. Anyway, I'm too old for school now. Where would they put me, first grade?」 Her eyes widened at the notion of sitting in a tiny chair, surrounded by little kids who could pronounce words, count to fifty.
「他們一定是知道了我現在孤身一人。如果我去了，他們會抓住我，送進某個家庭。無論如何，就上學的年紀來說，我現在也太大了。我讀哪個年級呢，一年級？」想到自己坐在小椅子上，周圍都是能拼單詞、能數到五十的小孩，她的眼睛瞪大了。
「What, so you plan to live alone in the marsh forever?」
「什麼，所以你打算一個人永遠生活在溼地裡？」
「Better than going to a foster home. Pa used to say he'd farm us out to one if we were bad. Told us they're mean.」
「比去寄養家庭好。爸爸說過，如果我們不好，就把我們送去那裡。他說他們都很惡劣。」
「No, they're not. Not always. Most of them are nice people who like kids,」 he said.
「不，他們不惡劣。不全是。大部分都是喜歡孩子的好人。」他說。
「You sayin' you'd go to a foster home 'fore you'd live in the marsh?」 she asked, chin jutted out, hand on her hip.
「你是說你會去一個寄養家庭而不是住在溼地裡？」她問，下巴抬起，手放在臀上。
He was silent a minute. 「Well, bring some blankets out, matches in case it gets cold. Maybe some tins of sardines. They last forever. But don't keep fresh food; it'll bring the bears in.」
他沉默了一會兒。「好吧，帶些毯子來，還有火柴，以防天氣變冷。或許再來一些沙丁魚罐頭，可以存放很久。但別放新鮮食物，會引來熊。」
「I ain't scared of bears.」
「我巴怕熊。」
「I'm not scared of bears.」
「我不怕熊。」
FOR THE REST of the summer Kya and Tate did the reading lessons at the tumbledown cabin. By mid-August they had read through A Sand County Almanac, and although she couldn't read every word, she got most of it. Aldo Leopold taught her that floodplains are living extensions of the rivers, which will claim them back any time they choose. Anyone living on a floodplain is just waiting in the river's wings. She learned where the geese go in winter, and the meaning of their music. His soft words, sounding almost like poetry, taught her that soil is packed with life and one of the most precious riches on Earth; that draining wetlands dries the land for miles beyond, killing plants and animals along with the water. Some of the seeds lie dormant in the desiccated earth for decades, waiting, and when the water finally comes home again, they burst through the soil, unfolding their faces. Wonders and real-life knowledge she would've never learned in school. Truths everyone should know, yet somehow, even though they lay exposed all around, seemed to lie in secret like the seeds.
夏天剩下的日子，基婭和泰特在搖搖欲墜的小屋裡上閱讀課。到了八月中旬，他們讀完了《沙鄉年鑑》，雖然不是每個單詞都認識，但基婭大部分都懂了。奧爾多·利奧波德告訴她，河漫灘是河流活的延伸，但它們任何時候都可能被河流收回。所有生活在河漫灘的人都是在河流的翅膀上等待。她了解了雪雁冬天去哪兒，以及它們歌聲的意義。他溫柔的文字聽起來幾乎就像是詩，告訴她土壤中滿是生命，是地球上最寶貴的財富之一；排乾溼地的水會導致數英裡土地乾涸，動植物將和水一起消失。一些種子可以在乾涸的土壤裡休眠幾十年，等待著，當水終於再度回來時，它們衝破土層，舒展臉龐。這些奇妙的、源於真實生活的知識，是學校永遠不會教給她的。每個人都應該知道這些真理，然而不知為何，儘管它們四處顯現，似乎仍然如殼裡的種子一般沒人看得見。
They met at the log cabin several times a week, but she slept most nights in her shack or on the beach with the gulls. She had to collect firewood before winter, so made a mission of it, toting loads from near and far and stacking them somewhat neatly between two pines. The turnips in her garden barely poked their heads above the goldenrod; still she had more vegetables than she and the deer could eat. She harvested the last of the late-summer crop and stored the squash and beets in the cool shade of the brick-'n'-board steps.
他們每周在木屋見幾次面，不過大多數晚上她都睡在自家的棚屋或者和海鳥們一起睡在沙灘上。她必須在冬天來臨之前收集柴火，於是把這列為一項任務，從遠近各處背回來，整齊地碼在兩棵松樹之間。園子裡的蕪菁幾乎沒有從麒麟草叢中探出頭來。不過她仍有充足的蔬菜，她加上鹿都吃不完。她收了晚夏最後一茬玉米，把南瓜和甜菜儲藏在磚木臺階涼爽的陰影裡。
But all the while, she kept her ears out for the lugging sounds of an automobile, filled with men come to take her away. Sometimes the listening was tiresome and creepy, so she'd walk to the log cabin and sleep the night on the dirt floor, wrapped in her spare blanket. She timed her mussel collecting and fish smoking so that Tate could take them to Jumpin's and bring back her supplies. Keeping her underbelly less exposed.
但她一直有留意汽車吃力前行的聲音，想像車裡坐滿了來帶走她的人。有時候，這種竊聽令人厭倦、毛骨悚然，她就走去木屋，在滿是灰塵的地板上過夜，裹著備用的毯子。她安排好採貽貝和製作燻魚的時間，好讓泰特帶去給老跳，再帶回她的補給。她儘量不暴露腹部。
「REMEMBER WHEN YOU READ your first sentence, you said that some words hold a lot?」 Tate said one day, sitting on the creek bank.
「還記得你讀第一個句子時說這些文字包含很多嗎？」有一天，泰特坐在小溪邊說。
「Yeah, I remember, why?」
「是的，我記得。怎麼了？」
「Well, especially poems. The words in poems do more than say things. They stir up emotions. Even make you laugh.」
「詩歌尤其如此。詩裡的文字遠不止表意。它們觸發情感，甚至能讓你大笑。」
「Ma used to read poems, but I don't remember any.」
「媽媽過去經常讀詩，但我一點也不記得了。」
「Listen to this; it's by Edward Lear.」 He took out a folded envelope and read,
「聽聽這個，是愛德華·利爾寫的。」他拿出一個摺疊的信封，讀道：
「Then Mr. Daddy Long-legs
And Mr. Floppy Fly
Rushed downward to the foamy sea
With one sponge-taneous cry;
And there they found a little boat,
Whose sails were pink and gray;
And off they sailed among the waves,
Far, and far away.」
然後長腿爸爸先生
和軟趴趴飛行先生
急匆匆衝向起了泡沫的大海，
伴著一聲自發的喊叫；
他們發現了一艘小船，
它有粉色和灰色的帆；
於是他們在海浪裡起航，
去往很遠很遠的地方。
Smiling, she said, 「It makes a rhythm like waves hitting the beach.」
她微笑著說：「這首詩的節奏聽起來就像是海浪擊打著沙灘。」
After that she went into a poem-writing phase, making them up as she boated through the marsh or looked for shells—simple verses, singsong and silly. 「There's a mama blue jay lifting from a branch; I'd fly too, if I had a chance.」 They made her laugh out loud; filled up a few lonely minutes of a long, lonely day.
從那之後，她進入了寫詩的階段，駛過溼地或尋找貝殼時會編織一些詩句——語言簡單，節奏單調，有點傻氣。「一隻藍鳥媽媽從樹枝上起飛；我也要飛，如果有機會。」這些詩句讓她哈哈大笑，填補了漫長又寂寞的一天中倍感孤獨的幾分鐘。
One late afternoon, reading at the kitchen table, she remembered Ma's book of poetry and scrounged until she found it. The volume so worn, the covers had long since gone, the pages held together by two frayed rubber bands. Kya carefully took them off and thumbed through the pages, reading Ma's notes in the margins. At the end was a list of page numbers of Ma's favorites.
一天下午，基婭坐在餐桌旁讀書，想起了媽媽的詩集，便去翻找，找出了那本書。書已經很舊了，封皮早已不見，書頁用兩根舊橡皮筋綁在一起。基婭小心翼翼拿下皮筋，手指摩挲著書頁，看媽媽寫在縫隙處的筆記。最後是一份媽媽最愛的詩歌頁碼清單。
Kya turned to one by James Wright:
基婭翻到詹姆斯·賴特的一首詩：
Suddenly lost and cold,
I knew the yard lay bare,
I longed to touch and hold
My child, my talking child,
Laughing or tame or wild . . .
Trees and the sun were gone,
Everything gone but us.
His mother sang in the house,
And kept our supper warm,
And loved us, God knows how,
The wide earth darkened so.
And this one by Galway Kinnell.
I did care. . . .
I did say everything I thought
In the mildest words I knew. And now, . . .
I have to say I am relieved it is over:
At the end I could feel only pity
For that urge toward more life.
. . . Goodbye.
突然感到迷失和寒冷，
我知道院子裡空空蕩蕩，
我想要觸摸和擁抱
我的孩子，我說話的孩子，
笑著的或順從的或狂野的……
樹木和太陽已消失，
除了我們一切已逝。
他的母親在屋裡唱歌，
熱著我們的晚餐，
愛著我們，天知道為何
廣闊的大地變得如此黑暗。
還有高爾韋·金耐爾的一首：
我的確關心……
我的確說出了所有所想
用我所知的最溫和的話語。如今……
我不得不說結束讓我釋然：
對更多生機的渴望
最終我只感到遺憾。
……再見。
Kya touched the words as if they were a message, as though Ma had underlined them specifically so her daughter would read them someday by this dim kerosene flame and understand. It wasn't much, not a handwritten note tucked in the back of a sock drawer, but it was something. She sensed that the words clinched a powerful meaning, but she couldn't shake it free. If she ever became a poet, she'd make the message clear.
基婭觸碰著這些文字，仿佛它們是一條信息，仿佛當初媽媽特地把它們畫出來是為了讓女兒某天就著昏暗的煤油燈光讀到並讀懂。不算很多，不是塞在放襪子的抽屜深處的手寫字條，但它是有意義的。她感覺到這些文字蘊含著強烈的意義，但她無法釋放它們。如果她能成為一名詩人，就可以讀懂這些信息。
AFTER TATE STARTED his senior year in September, he couldn't come to Kya's place as often, but when he did, he brought her discarded textbooks from school. He didn't say a word about the biology books being too advanced for her, so she plowed through chapters she wouldn't have seen for four years in school. 「Don't worry,」 he'd say, 「you'll get a little more every time you read it.」 And that was true.
九月，泰特進入高年級，沒法經常來基婭這裡，不過他每次來，都會從學校帶來用過的教科書。他沒有提生物書對她來說太超前，所以，她艱難地讀著那些在學校待四年都不會讀到的內容。「別擔心，」他說，「每次讀都會有所收穫。」這倒是真的。
As the days grew shorter, again they met near her shack because there wasn't enough daylight to get to the reading cabin. They had always studied outside, but when a crazed wind blew one morning, Kya built up the fire in the woodstove. No one had crossed the shack's threshold since Pa disappeared more than four years ago, and to ask anybody inside would seem unthinkable. Anyone but Tate.
白天越來越短，他們再次把見面地點改為棚屋，因為白天的時間不夠去閱讀小屋。他們總在戶外學習，但一天早上，狂風呼嘯，基婭在火爐裡生起了火。自從爸爸四年前消失後，再沒有人踏進過棚屋的門檻。邀請別人進屋簡直不可想像，除了泰特。
「Wanta sit in the kitchen by the stove?」 she said when he dragged his rig onto the lagoon shore.
「要不要坐到廚房的火爐邊上？」她問道。泰特把船停到了潟湖邊。
「Sure,」 he said, knowing not to make a big deal of the invitation.
「好呀。」他說，知道不要對這個邀請反應太大。
As soon as he stepped inside the porch, he took nearly twenty minutes to explore and exclaim over her feathers and shells and bones and nests. When they finally settled at the table, she pulled her chair close to his, their arms and elbows nearly touching. Just to feel him near.
從踏進門廊起，他花了大約二十分鐘探索她收集的羽毛、貝殼、骨頭和鳥窩，不停地發出驚嘆。當他們終於在桌旁坐定，她把椅子拉近，兩人的胳膊和手肘幾乎要碰到。她只是想離他近一點。
With Tate so busy helping his dad, the days dragged slow from nose to tail. Late one evening she took her first novel, Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, from Ma's bookshelf and read about love. After a while she closed the book and walked to the closet. She slipped on Ma's sundress and swished around the room, flipping the skirt about, whirling in front of the mirror. Her mane and hips swaying, she imagined Tate asking her to dance. His hand on her waist. As if she were Mrs. de Winter.
因為泰特忙著幫他爸爸做事，基婭感覺日子被從頭到尾拉得很漫長。一天晚上，她從媽媽的書架上拿起她的第一本小說，達夫妮·杜穆裡埃的《蝴蝶夢》，讀到了愛情。過了一會兒，她合上書，走到衣櫃旁。穿上媽媽的背心裙，在房間裡繞圈；裙擺飛起，她在鏡子前旋轉。她擺動長發和臀部，想像著泰特邀請她跳舞，他的手扶著她的腰，就像她是德溫特夫人。
Abruptly she caught herself and bent over, giggling. Then stood very still.
突然，她回到了現實，笑得彎下了腰。然後又站定，一動不動。
「COME ON UP HERE, CHILD,」 Mabel sang out one afternoon. 「I got ya some things.」 Jumpin' usually brought the boxes of goods for Kya, but when Mabel showed up, there was usually something special.
「到這兒來，孩子，」某個下午，瑪貝爾大聲招呼她，「我給你帶了點東西。」通常是老跳給基婭帶來一箱箱東西，每次瑪貝爾出現都會有一些特別的東西。
「Go on then, pick up yo' stuff. I'll fill yo' tank,」 Jumpin' said, so Kya hopped onto the wharf.
「來吧，來拿你的東西。我來加油。」老跳說。基婭跳上碼頭。
「Look here, Miss Kya,」 Mabel said, as she lifted a peach-colored dress with a layer of chiffon over the flowered skirt, the most beautiful piece of clothing Kya had ever seen, prettier than Ma's sundress. 「This dress is fit for a princess like you.」 She held it in front of Kya, who touched it and smiled. Then, facing away from Jumpin', Mabel leaned over at the middle with some effort and lifted a white bra from the box.
「基婭小姐，看這兒。」瑪貝爾說。她拿起一條桃色的裙子，印花裙擺上覆著一層薄紗，這是基婭見過的最美的裙子，比媽媽的背心裙還美。「這裙子正適合你這樣的公主。」她把裙子舉在基婭面前。撫摸著裙子，基婭臉上露出微笑。然後，瑪貝爾背對著老跳，俯下身，費了點勁，從箱子裡拿出一個白色胸罩。
Kya felt heat all over.
基婭渾身都在發熱。
「Now, Miss Kya, don't be shy, hon. Ya be needin' this 'bout now. And, child, if there's ever anything ya need to talk to me about, anything ya don't understand, ya let ol' Mabel know. Ya heah?」
「好了，基婭小姐，別害羞。親愛的，現在你也該需要這個了。還有，孩子，你有任何想和我聊的事情，任何不懂的事情，都讓我知道，好嗎？」
「Yes'm. Thank you, Mabel.」 Kya tucked the bra deep in the box, under some jeans and T-shirts, a bag of black-eyed peas, and a jar of put-up peaches.
「好的。謝謝你，瑪貝爾。」基婭把胸罩深深地塞進箱子裡，壓在牛仔褲、短袖、一袋黑眼豌豆、一罐桃幹下面。
A few weeks later, watching pelicans float and feed in the sea, her boat riding up and down waves, Kya's stomach suddenly cramped up. She'd never been seasick, and this felt different from any pain she'd ever had. She pulled her boat ashore at Point Beach and sat on the sand, legs folded to one side like a wing. The pain sharpened, and she grimaced, made a little moan. She must have the runs coming.
幾周後，基婭開著船在浪裡起伏，看鵜鶘漂在海上覓食。她突然感到胃裡一陣抽搐。她從沒暈過船，也從沒經歷過這樣的疼痛。她把船停靠到灣頭灘，坐在沙子上，腿像翅膀一樣彎向一邊。疼痛加劇了，她表情痛苦，發出一絲呻吟。一定是拉肚子了。
Suddenly she heard the purr of a motor and saw Tate's rig cutting through the white-capped surf. He turned inland the instant he saw her and made for shore. She spat out some of Pa's cussing. She always liked seeing Tate, but not when she might have to run to the oak woods any second with diarrhea. After dragging his boat next to hers, he plopped down on the sand beside her.
突然，她聽到了發動機的轟鳴聲，緊接著看見泰特的小船穿過白色海浪駛來。一看到基婭，他就轉向陸地，準備靠岸。她罵了幾句爸爸說過的髒話。她很高興見到泰特，但不是在這種隨時可能跑去橡樹林拉肚子的時候。他把船停在她的小船旁，撲通一聲坐到她身邊。
「Hey, Kya. What're you doing? I was just going out to your place.」
「你好，基婭，你在幹嗎呢？我正打算去你那兒。」
「Hey, Tate. It's good to see you.」 She tried to sound normal, but her stomach twisted tightly.
「你好，泰特。很高興見到你。」她盡力讓自己聽上去正常，但她的胃抽搐得厲害。
「What's wrong?」 he asked.
「怎麼了？」他問。
「What do you mean?」
「什麼意思？」
「You don't look good. What's wrong?」
「你看起來不太好。出什麼事了？」
「I think I'm sick. My stomach's cramping real hard.」
「我想我病了。胃抽搐得厲害。」
「Oh.」 Tate looked out over the sea. Dug his bare toes in the sand.
「啊。」泰特看向海面，用腳趾挖沙子。
「Maybe you should go,」 she said, head down.
「你該走了。」她低下頭說。
「Maybe I should stay till you're better. Suppose you can't get yourself home?」
「或許我應該待到你好一點的時候。我想你沒法自己回家吧？」
「I might have to go to the woods. I might be sick.」
「我可能需要進林子裡去。大概是病了。」
「Maybe. But I don't think that's going to help,」 he said quietly.
「或許吧。但是我不覺得那會有幫助。」他輕聲說。
「What do you mean? You don't know what's wrong with me.」
「什麼意思？你又不知道我哪裡不對。」
「Does this feel different from other stomachaches?」
「這和別的胃痛不一樣吧？」
「Yes.」
「嗯。」
「You're almost fifteen, right?」
「你快十五歲了，對吧？」
「Yes. What's that got to do with it?」
「是的。這有什麼關係？」
He was quiet a minute. Shuffled his feet, digging his toes deeper in the sand. Looking away from her, he said, 「It might be, you know, what happens to girls your age. Remember, a few months ago I brought you a pamphlet about it. It was with those biology books.」 Tate glanced at her briefly, his face blazing, and looked away again.
他沉默了一會兒，晃著腳，腳趾更深地摳進沙子裡。他轉移開視線，說：「這可能是你這個年紀的女孩身上會發生的事情。記得嗎，幾個月前我給你帶了一本相關的冊子，和生物書一起。」泰特很快地瞟了她一眼，臉燒得通紅，視線又移開了。
Kya dropped her eyes as her whole body blushed. Of course, there'd been no Ma to tell her, but indeed a school booklet Tate had brought explained some. Now her time had come, and here she was sitting on the beach becoming a woman right in front of a boy. Shame and panic filled her. What was she supposed to do? What exactly would happen? How much blood would there be? She imagined it leaking into the sand around her. She sat silent as a sharp pain racked her middle.
基婭垂下眼，整個身體都紅了。當然，她沒有媽媽告訴她這方面的事，但泰特帶來的一本學校手冊裡解釋了一些。現在，是她的日子到了，而她正坐在沙灘上，在一個男孩面前變成女人。羞恥感和恐慌感席捲了她。她該做什麼？到底發生了什麼？會有多少血？她想像著血滲進周圍的沙子裡。她沉默地坐著，感到一陣劇痛襲來，在身體正中間。
「Can you get yourself home?」 he asked, still not looking at her.
「你能自己回家嗎？」他問，仍然沒有看她。
「I think so.」
「我想可以的。」
「It'll be okay, Kya. Every girl goes through this just fine. You go on home. I'll follow way back to make sure you get there.」
「沒關係的，基婭，每個女孩都安然無恙地經歷了這個。你回家吧。我在後面跟著，確保你到家。」
「You don't have to.」
「不用。」
「Don't worry about me. Now get going.」 He stood and walked to his boat, not looking at her. He motored out and waited quite far offshore until she headed up coast toward her channel. So far back he was just a speck, he followed until she reached her lagoon. Standing on the bank, she waved briefly to him, her face down, not meeting his eyes.
「別擔心我。走吧。」他站起來，向船走去，沒有看她。他把船開出去，在離岸邊很遠的地方等著，直到她沿著海岸把船開上水道。他遠得成了一個小點，但一直跟在後面，直到基婭到了棚屋附近的潟湖。她站在岸上，朝他快速揮了揮手，低著頭，沒有看他的眼睛。
Just as she had figured out most things, Kya figured out how to become a woman on her own. But the next morning at first light, she boated over to Jumpin's. A pale sun seemed suspended in thick fog as she approached his wharf and looked for Mabel, knowing there was little chance she'd be there. Sure enough, only Jumpin' walked out to greet her.
正如她靠自己搞懂了大多數事情一樣，她也靠自己弄明白了怎麼成為一個女人。第二天清晨，當天空瀉下第一縷陽光，她開船去找老跳。蒼白的太陽懸在濃霧中。靠近老跳的碼頭時，她試著尋找瑪貝爾，但心裡明白她在那兒的概率很小。果然，只有老跳走出來迎接她。
「Hi, Miss Kya. Ya needin' gas a'ready?」
「你好，基婭小姐，你這就需要加油了？」
Still sitting in the boat, Kya answered quietly, 「I need to see Mabel.」
她仍然坐在船上，輕聲回答：「我需要見瑪貝爾。」
「I'm sorry as can be, child, Mabel ain't here today. Can I help ya?」
「非常對不起，孩子，瑪貝爾今天不在這兒。我能幫你嗎？」
Head down low, she said, 「I need to see Mabel bad. Soon.」
她頭垂得很低，說：「我需要見瑪貝爾，儘快。」
「Well then.」 Jumpin' looked across the small bay out to sea and saw no more boats coming in. Anybody needing gas at any time of day and every day including Christmas could count on Jumpin' being here—he hadn't missed a single day in fifty years, except when their baby angel, Daisy, died. He couldn't leave his post. 「Ya hang on there, Miss Kya, I gonna run up the lane a ways, get some chillin to fetch Mabel. Any boat come in, ya tell 'em I'll be right back.」
「那好吧。」老跳隔著小灣看向大海，確認沒有船過來。任何需要汽油的人，在白天任何時候，一年中任何一天，包括聖誕節，都可以指望在這裡找到老跳——五十年來，他一天都不曾錯過，除了他的寶貝天使黛西死去那天。他不能離開他的位置。「基婭小姐，你在這裡等等，我跑去小徑上，找個小孩去叫瑪貝爾。有船來了你就告訴他們我很快回來。」
「I will. Thank you.」
「我會的。謝謝你。」
Jumpin' hurried up the wharf and disappeared as Kya waited, glancing out in the bay every few seconds, dreading another boat coming in. But in no time he was back, saying some kids had gone to get Mabel; Kya should 「just wait a spell.」
老跳匆匆離開碼頭，消失了。基婭等待著，每隔幾秒就向小灣看看，害怕有別的船來。但很快老跳就回來了，說有小孩去找瑪貝爾了，基婭只要再「等一會會」就好。
Jumpin' busied himself unpacking packets of chewing tobacco on the shelves and generally doing around. Kya stayed in her boat. Finally Mabel hurried across the boards, which shook with her swing as if a small piano were being pushed down the wharf. Carrying a paper bag, she didn't bellow out a greeting, as she would have otherwise, but stood on the wharf above Kya and said quietly, 「Mornin', Miss Kya, what's all this 'bout, child? What's wrong, hon?」
老跳忙忙碌碌，在貨架上給嚼煙拆封，還有其他各種事情。基婭待在自己的船上。終於，瑪貝爾踩著木板匆匆過來了。那些板子隨著她的搖擺而晃動，仿佛一架小鋼琴被推下了碼頭。她提著一個紙袋，沒有像往常那樣大聲打招呼，而是站在碼頭上，基婭上方，輕聲說：「早上好，基婭小姐。發生什麼事了，孩子？怎麼了，親愛的？」
Kya dropped her head more, mumbled something Mabel couldn't hear.
基婭垂下頭，嘟噥了幾句，瑪貝爾沒有聽見。
「Can ya get out of that boat, or should I get in there with ya?」
「你能從船上下來嗎，還是我應該上去？」
Kya didn't answer, so Mabel, almost two hundred pounds' worth, stepped one foot, then the other into the small boat, which complained by bumping against the piling. She sat down on the center bench, facing Kya at the stern.
基婭沒有回答。瑪貝爾幾乎有兩百磅重，一隻腳踩進船裡，然後另一隻也跟著踩進去。小船抱怨似的撞擊著木樁。她坐到中間的座位上，面朝船尾的基婭。
「Now, child, tell me what's wrong.」
「好了，孩子，告訴我怎麼了。」
The two leaned their heads together, Kya whispering, and then Mabel pulled Kya right over to her full bosom, hugging and rocking her. Kya was rigid at first, not accustomed to yielding to hugs, but this didn't discourage Mabel, and finally Kya went limp and slumped against the comfort of those pillows. After a while, Mabel leaned back and opened the brown paper bag.
她們把腦袋靠在一起，基婭耳語了一番，瑪貝爾把基婭拉到胸口，抱住她，輕輕搖晃。一開始，基婭渾身僵硬，不習慣被擁抱，不過瑪貝爾沒有氣餒。終於，基婭的身體放鬆下來，放任自己跌向枕頭般柔軟的安慰。過了一會兒，瑪貝爾坐直身子，打開棕色的紙袋。
「Well, I figured what's wrong, so I brought ya some things.」 And there, sitting in the boat at Jumpin's wharf, Mabel explained the details to Kya.
「我猜到了你的事情，所以給你帶了點東西。」坐在老跳碼頭旁的小船裡，瑪貝爾向基婭解釋了細節。
「Now, Miss Kya, this ain't nothin' to be 'shamed of. It ain't no curse, like folks say; this here's the startin' of all life, and only a woman can do it. You're a woman now, baby.」
「基婭小姐，這絲毫沒有什麼可羞恥的。並不像有些人說的是詛咒。這是所有生命的開端，而且只有女人能做到。孩子，你現在是一個女人了。」
WHEN KYA HEARD TATE'S BOAT the next afternoon, she hid in thick brambles and watched him. For anyone to know her at all seemed strange enough, but now he knew about the most personal and private occurrence of her life. Her cheeks burned at the thought of it. She would hide until he left.
第三天下午，基婭聽到泰特的船駛過來的聲音，躲到了茂密的灌木叢裡，看著他。有人了解她，這已經夠怪的了，而現在，他知道了她生命裡最個人、最私密的事情。想到這裡，她的臉頰燒了起來。她要一直躲到他離開。
As he pulled onto the lagoon shore and stepped out of the boat, he carried a white box tied up with string. 「Yo! Kya, where are you?」 he called. 「I brought petite cakes from Parker's.」
他把船停靠在潟湖邊，走出小船，提了一個繫繩的白色盒子。「嘿！基婭，你在哪兒呢？」他喊道，「我帶了帕克家的小蛋糕。」
Kya had not tasted anything like cake for years. Tate lifted some books out of the boat, so Kya moseyed out of the bushes behind him.
基婭有好幾年沒吃過蛋糕之類的東西了。泰特又從船裡拿出一些書，基婭磨磨蹭蹭地從他身後的灌木叢裡出來了。
「Oh, there you are. Look at this.」 He opened the box, and there, arranged neatly, were little cakes, each only an inch square, covered in vanilla icing with a tiny pink rose perched on the top. 「Come on, dig in.」
「啊，你在這兒呢。看看這個，」他打開盒子，裡面整整齊齊地擺著小蛋糕，每個只有一平方英寸那麼大，覆蓋著香草糖霜，頂上還有一朵小小的粉玫瑰，「來吧，開動吧。」
Kya lifted one and, still not looking at Tate, bit into it. Then pushed the rest of it into her mouth. Licked her fingers.
基婭拿起一個，還是沒看泰特，一口咬下，然後把整個蛋糕都塞進嘴裡，舔了舔手指。
「Here.」 Tate set the box next to their oak. 「Have all you want. Let's get started. I brought a new book.」 And that was that. They went into the lessons, never uttering a word about the other thing.
「給你，」泰特把盒子放在橡樹旁，「想吃多少吃多少。我們開始吧。我帶了一本新書。」那件事就這麼化解了。他們繼續上課，再也沒提起它。
AUTUMN WAS COMING; the evergreens might not have noticed, but the sycamores did. They flashed thousands of golden leaves across slate-gray skies. Late one afternoon, after the lesson, Tate lingering when he should have left, he and Kya sat on a log in the woods. She finally asked the question she'd wanted to ask for months. 「Tate, I appreciate your teaching me to read and all those things you gave me. But why'd you do it? Don't you have a girlfriend or somebody like that?」
秋天來了。常青樹沒注意到，但美國梧桐注意到了。它們在石灰色的天空中搖晃著成百上千的金黃色葉片。某天下午，上完課後，泰特本該走了，卻逗留了一會兒。他和基婭坐在樹林裡一根倒下的木頭上。她問出了那個她想了好幾個月的問題。「泰特，我很感激你教我讀書，還送我這麼多東西。但你為什麼這麼做呢？你沒有女朋友或類似的朋友嗎？」
「Nah—well, sometimes I do. I had one, but not now. I like being out here in the quiet and I like the way you're so interested in the marsh, Kya. Most people don't pay it any attention except to fish. They think it's wasteland that should be drained and developed. People don't understand that most sea creatures—including the very ones they eat—need the marsh.」
「沒——好吧，有時候有。我以前有過，但現在沒有。我喜歡來這裡，安安靜靜的。我喜歡你熱愛溼地的樣子，基婭。大多數人對溼地毫不關心，除了捕魚，他們認為它是荒地，應該被抽乾開發。人們不理解，大多數海洋生物，包括他們吃的那些，都需要溼地。」
He didn't mention how he felt sorry for her being alone, that he knew how the kids had treated her for years; how the villagers called her the Marsh Girl and made up stories about her. Sneaking out to her shack, running through the dark and tagging it, had become a regular tradition, an initiation for boys becoming men. What did that say about men? Some of them were already making bets about who would be the first to get her cherry. Things that infuriated and worried him.
他沒有提到他為她的孤單心痛。他知道這些年來其他孩子是如何待她的。鎮上的人們叫她溼地女孩，編造關於她的故事。溜到她的棚屋，穿過黑暗在門上留下標記已經成為一項傳統，一項男孩變男人的儀式。而那些男人又能好到哪兒去？有些已經在打賭誰能先得到她的初夜。這些事情讓他既生氣又擔憂。
But that wasn't the main reason he'd left feathers for Kya in the forest, or why he kept coming to see her. The other words Tate didn't say were his feelings for her that seemed tangled up between the sweet love for a lost sister and the fiery love for a girl. He couldn't come close to sorting it out himself, but he'd never been hit by a stronger wave. A power of emotions as painful as pleasurable.
但這些都不是他在樹林裡給基婭留下羽毛並且一直來看她的主要原因。他沒有說出口的是他對她的感情，既是對逝去的妹妹的甜蜜之愛，也是對一個女孩的火熱之愛，糾纏其間，他沒法清楚地分辨出來。但可以確定，這是他經歷過的最強烈的浪潮，又痛苦，又歡樂。
Poking a grass stalk down an ant hole, she finally asked, 「Where's your ma?」
她把一根草稈戳進螞蟻洞裡，問：「你媽媽呢？」
A breeze wandered through the trees, gently shaking branches. Tate didn't answer.
一陣風吹過樹叢，輕柔地搖晃樹枝。泰特沒有回答。
「You don't have to say nothing,」she said.
「你怎麼都不用說。」她說。
「Anything.」
「什麼。」
「You don't have to say anything.」
「你什麼都不用說。」
「My mother and little sister died in a car wreck over in Asheville. My sister's name was Carianne.」
「我媽媽和妹妹在阿什維爾的一場車禍裡去世了。我妹妹叫卡麗安。」
「Oh. I'm so sorry, Tate. I bet your ma was real nice and pretty.」
「哦，對不起，泰特。我想你媽媽肯定人很好，很漂亮。」
「Yes. Both of them were.」 He spoke to the ground, between his knees. 「I've never talked about it before. To anybody.」
「是的。她們兩個都是，」他對著地面說，頭埋在膝蓋間，「我從來沒說過這件事。對誰都沒有。」
Me neither, Kya thought. Out loud she said, 「My ma walked off one day and didn't come back. The mama deer always come back.」
我也是，基婭想。她說：「我媽媽有一天走了，再也沒回來。母鹿總是會回來的。」
「Well, at least you can hope she does. Mine won't come back for sure.」
「好吧，至少你能盼著她回來。我媽媽是永遠都不會回來了。」
They were silent a moment, then Tate continued. 「I think . . .」 But he stopped, looked away.
他們沉默了一會兒，泰特接著說：「我想……」但他停下了，眼睛看向別處。
Kya looked at him, but he stared at the ground. Quiet.
基婭看著他，他看著地面。沒人說話。
She said, 「What? You think what? You can say anything to me.」
她說：「什麼？你想什麼？你可以跟我說任何事。」
Still he said nothing. From a patience born from knowing, she waited.
他還是什麼都沒說。她帶著與生俱來的耐心，等待著。
Finally, very softly he said, 「I think they went to Asheville to buy my birthday present. There was this certain bike I wanted, had to have it. The Western Auto didn't carry them, so I think they went to Asheville to buy that bike for me.」
最後，他輕聲說：「我想她們是要去阿什維爾給我買生日禮物。當時我想要一款很特別的自行車，非它不可。西部車行沒有，所以我想她們是要去阿什維爾給我買那輛自行車。」
「That doesn't make it your fault,」 she said.
「這不是你的錯。」她說。
「I know, but it feels like my fault,」 Tate said. 「I don't even remember what kind of bike it was.」
「我知道，但感覺上就是我的錯，」泰特說，「我甚至都不記得是輛什麼樣的自行車了。」
Kya leaned closer to him, not enough to touch. But she felt a sensation—almost like the space between their shoulders had shifted. She wondered if Tate felt it. She wanted to lean in closer, just enough so their arms would gently brush together. To touch. And wondered if Tate would notice.
基婭靠近了一些，沒有近到互相可以觸碰到，但她有一種感覺——似乎他們肩膀之間的空間消失了。她好奇泰特有沒有感覺到。她想靠得更近，近到他們的胳膊剛好可以輕輕摩擦。她想知道泰特有沒有注意到。
And just at that second, the wind picked up, and thousands upon thousands of yellow sycamore leaves broke from their life support and streamed across the sky. Autumn leaves don't fall; they fly. They take their time and wander on this, their only chance to soar. Reflecting sunlight, they swirled and sailed and fluttered on the wind drafts.
就在這時，風變大了，無數金黃的美國梧桐葉離開它們賴以生存的樹枝，在天空中飄蕩。秋葉不是凋落，是飛舞。它們不緊不慢，隨風漫步，這是它們翱翔於天空的唯一機會。它們反射陽光，在風中旋轉、飄蕩、飛舞。
Tate sprang from the log and called to her, 「See how many leaves you can catch before they hit the ground!」 Kya jumped up, and the two of them leapt and skipped through curtains of falling leaves, reaching their arms wide, snatching them before they fell to the earth. Laughing, Tate dived toward a leaf only inches from the ground, caught it, and rolled over, holding his trophy in the air. Kya threw her hands up, releasing all the leaves she had rescued back into the wind. As she ran back through them, they caught like gold in her hair.
泰特從原木上跳起來，大聲說：「看看在樹葉落地前你能抓到多少！」基婭也跳起來。他們在漫天落葉織就的簾幕中又蹦又跳，舒展雙臂，在葉子落地前接住它們。泰特大笑著一個俯衝，在一片葉子離地幾英寸時抓住了它，翻身打了個滾，把戰利品高高舉向空中。基婭抬起手，把所有抓到的葉子撒向風中。她跑向落葉，頭髮上的葉子宛若黃金。
Then, as she whirled around, she bumped into Tate, who had stood, and they froze, staring into each other's eyes. They stopped laughing. He took her shoulders, hesitated an instant, then kissed her lips, as the leaves rained and danced around them as silently as snow.
她在葉子間旋轉，撞上了站在一旁的泰特。他們都僵住了，看著彼此的眼睛。笑聲止息。他握住她的肩膀，猶豫了一瞬，吻上了她的唇。黃葉在周圍蕭蕭而下，隨風飛舞，靜如落雪。
She knew nothing about kissing and held her head and lips stiff. They broke away and looked at each other, wondering where that had come from and what to do next. He lifted a leaf gently from her hair and dropped it to the ground. Her heart beat wildly. Of all the ragged loves she』d known from wayward family, none had felt like this.
她對接吻一無所知，只能僵著頭和嘴唇。兩人分開，互相看著對方，思考著這個吻從何而來，接下來又該做什麼。他輕柔地從她發間撥落一片葉子，任它掉落在地上。她的心臟瘋狂跳動。她那些任性的家人給予她的愛支離破碎，與此大為不同。
「Am I your girlfriend now?」 she asked.
「我現在是你的女朋友了嗎」？她問。
He smiled. 「Do you want to be?」
他笑了。「你想做我的女朋友嗎？」
「Yes.」
「想。」
「You might be too young,」 he said.
「你年紀太小了。」他說。
「But I know feathers. I bet the other girls don't know feathers.」
「但我了解羽毛啊。我猜其他女孩不懂羽毛。」
「All right, then.」 And he kissed her again. This time she tilted her head to the side and her lips softened. And for the first time in her life, her heart was full.
「那好吧。」他再次吻了她。這邊她把頭側向一邊，嘴唇柔軟。人生新年第一次，她的心滿滿當當。
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